Worst Google My Business Listings of All Time

We all need something to make us smile during difficult times.

So don’t worry, we’ve got you covered.

This is the “official” list of the worst Google My Business listings.

Most, if not all of these listings should’ve read my brand management guide.

They’re also completely behind when it comes to the latest digital marketing trends.

The list will be updated if more crazy listings are found (which is very likely).

Search Creative

Search Creative

 

Let’s start things off with a keyword stuffing train-wreck.

I really have no words to describe this, so I’ll use an emoji instead:

🤢

One could argue that the listing name is creative, but we’re not buying it.

We Are Open

We Are Open

 

Getting some mixed messages here…

Bob The Builder

Bob The Builder

 

Can he fix it?

Bob The Builder Reviews

 

Yes he can!

St Albans Electrician

St Albans Electrician

 

The pun. The CTA. What’s not to like?

Wedding Cards

Wedding Cards Listing

 

Umm…

SEO SERVICE

SEO SERVICE

 

Come on. Who did this?

Locate me a personal trainer

Locate me a personal trainer

 

It’s clear that voice search is on the rise.

Brave Agency

Brave Agency

 

In all honesty, they were quite brave to use all that keyword stuffing!

Repairing absolutely everything

Mobile Phone repair listing

 

Wonder if these guys can repair 2020.

The White House

The White House

 

Looks a bit different from the last time we’d seen it.

The White House Reviews

 

We hear you, Anil.

Fish and chips and chicken and pizzas and burgers and kebabs

UK Fish and Chips Listing

 

Ain’t that a mouthful!

NSFW

NSFW GMB Listing

 

Hopefully your kids don’t get exposed to this one.

Garage door repair?

Garage door repair

 

We’re a bit unsure about what these people do.

Packers and movers and packers and movers and packers and movers

Packers and movers listing

 

But we’re 100% sure what these people do!

Nexa Accountants

Nexa Accountants

 

Are those photos really how accountants do their accounting?

Plastic surgeon

Plastic surgeon listing

 

Might as well turn into a barbie doll.

PSC Autocentre

PSC Autocentre

 

What about Porsche and Opel???

In all seriousness

Google My Business profiles shouldn’t be taken advantage of by business owners,

Yes, this post is satirical, but please ensure you read the guidelines to avoid being on this list!

Whether you’re a freelance SEO consultant or an in-house marketer, please don’t create GMB listings that make people LOL!

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I’m a London-based SEO expert with a passion for all things digital marketing.

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